Commenting is good pain
Ok, I want to talk about the elephant in the room. Commenting.
Since starting the altMBA I have submitted tens of comments and while it’s getting easier (thanks to the helpful "How to comment" notes provided by altMBA) I still recognise a resistance every time I put cursor to page. Why?
I was thinking about it and I think its because I care. I care about the person who wrote the piece. As I read their posts, analyse their work, I can see the time and effort that went into it. I can see their thought process unfurling onto the page, the jumps of logic, the moments of raw reason. I can see the struggle being softened up and worked out right in front of me. Being a writer, I try to see behind the language used by the person and it’s revealing. I always see a snippet of their life, however small.
Ultimately I care, and that can be a problem for a level-headed person. Commenting is necessary but I used to feel like it was a negative thing. I know now I was wrong in thinking that, because I have seen the love and help pour from the comments I have left people. I also remembered what Pixars Braintrust said: "A hallmark of a healthy creative culture is that its people feel free to share ideas, opinions, and criticisms. Our decision making is better when we draw on the collective knowledge and unvarnished opinions of the group. Candor is the key to collaborating effectively. Lack of candor leads to dysfunctional environments. So how can a manager ensure that his or her working group, department, or company embraces candor? By putting mechanisms in place that explicitly say it is valuable." Thankfully the altMBA has done that in spades.
Here are some of the most valuable notes I read during the altMBA so far that makes me a better commenter:
Not all feedback is equal
Don’t make comments PC for them to be valuable
I should feel a little bit uncomfortable about writing them - there’s a skill to it that needs to incorporate honest feedback
How do I logically pick something apart, but in a personal or caring way?
The comments that are personal and the comments that have empathy are the ones that take time - how can I find that balance?
Writing comments for altMBA has made me better at saying comments out loud in the world. By having the space (tension?) in a conversation to be able to jump in and offer suggestion with love and care, and knowing how to deliver that comment, I have a superpower in my relationships.
Nicholas Naseem Taleb once said “Injuries done to us by others tend to be acute; the self-inflicted ones tend to be chronic.” Comments aren't an injury, but each and every one is a moment of possibility for growth.
