Simple Awareness

“So, what is it?” my brother asked me over Skype days before the kick-off of altMBA5.

“It’s kind of like an online program for people who want to be challenged. Its 30 days long and you do projects based around the ideas of trust and connection” I replied, parroting what I had read on the course website. I was slightly embarrassed that I seemed like I didn’t know what I was getting into. He looked sceptical.

“Ok. And what do you get at the end?” he asked.

“Um...You get to say that you took part I guess. But I really don’t think it’s about a piece of paper, if you know what I mean. And I’ll get to meet loads of new people.” I replied.

“Hm. Ok” he said, still looking sceptical. Big brothers watch out for little brothers on all fronts I guess.

I was lost in describing this course, as were many others I found out. This isn’t a course that you take to earn a qualification. None of us will get a piece of paper, but conversely all of us will get an experience beyond what any of us could have imagined at the outset. Best of all, I don’t feel like I “learned” in the traditional sense. Instead, I did.

In Lewis Hyde’s “The Gift”, he talks about the moment when “insight becomes embodiment”. He describes the moment when an idea, an insight, goes from being something outside ourselves, to being something that we do. The meaning of the insight blossoms in us. In that moment, and only in that moment, it becomes possible to pass that idea on to someone else. We have embodied, and understood it, fully. We are truly aware of it.

This understanding came to me about midway through the altMBA, like a light switch. I thought “being aware” was just “keeping my eyes open”. The biggest change for me is realising that it means much, much more. The ideas we covered – framing, decision-making, empathy, tension, etc. – are all fascinating in themselves, but I found that lurking behind them all is a simple awareness of what is right in front of us, as well as the power of keeping an open mind to what could be.

I thought about it constantly. Our personal narratives, the ones that we hold tight, might not be right for us any more. Our fears might actually be pointers to a better way of being. Our feelings that we are alone might only be paper thin, and help is always there, if we are aware enough to ask, to wonder. All these require awareness, and most likely a deeper awareness than we are used to using.Awareness is overturning my misconceptions; knowledge is not the same as information, wealth is not money, efficiency is not effectiveness, self-respect is not living in the opinions of others. Awareness can change the past, present and the future. It’s not just about keeping your eyes open and listening. It’s about being open to possibility.

Awareness now helps me do the hard part first, helps me think of myself as the type of person who can and does, helps me share and helps me dance with fear.

All change begins with awareness.