January - April 2024 Collected Snippets and Thoughts

When you’re having a good day, go for a walk and record a ten minute audio sharing your optimism, confidence and possibility. You’ll want to listen to it again.

You will be miserable to the degree that you are hung up on the notion

that things should must--go a certain way. If you have no fixed view, you remain elastic. - Alan Watts

What do you do if fear and enthusiasm keep battling and fear keeps winning?

Broaden your interests. It's nice to have at least one surprising hobby or passion. People find it interesting. In many ways, the part of you that is least expected is more respected.

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. - William James

If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be. — Dale Carnegie

Life isn't a dress rehearsal--this is it. It's your job to show up for this moment. - Oliver Burkeman

“And it dawned on me that I might have to change my inner thought patterns...that I would have to start believing in possibilities that I wouldn’t have allowed before, that I had been closing my creativity down to a very narrow, controllable scale...that things had become too familiar and I might have to disorient myself.”​— Bob Dylan

“Surrounded as we are by all of this, we need to practice acceptance. Without disdain. But remembering that our own worth is measured by what we devote our energy to.” - Marcus Aurelius

“How to forget what you read” notes:

The first reason for this is that forgetting is a filter. When something you read resonates with you sufficiently for you to recall it without effort, that means something; it means it connects with your ideas and experiences in some relevant way. Replace that natural process with a more conscious, willpower-based system for retaining information, and you risk losing the benefits of that filter.

…But that’s a recipe for living permanently in the future, never quite reaping the value of life in the present moment. Better, I’d say, to think of reading not as preparation for living later on, but as one way of engaging with the world, one way of living, right here in the present.

By all means let your reading shape your thinking over the long haul, and generate or improve your ideas for future projects. But consider also the possibility that spending half an hour reading something interesting or moving or awe-inspiring or just amusing might be worth doing, not only for some other, future reason, but for the sake of that very half hour of being alive.

…The final reason is that the point of reading, much of the time, isn’t to vacuum up data, but to shape your sensibility. As Katarina Janoskova notes here, each work you encounter changes you, at least a little, and thus the way you see the world; and that change occurs regardless of how much of a given book’s contents you happen to consciously retain. And in the final analysis, it’s the way you see the world – your unique angle, applied to the people and things around you – that results in good ideas and original work.

“Find The Life Task” Notes:

So how will you know you're on the right track? For a start, a life task will be something you can accomplish "only by effort and with difficulty," as Jung puts it – and specifically, I'd say, with that feeling of "good difficulty" that comes from pushing back against your conditioned preferences for comfort and security. In other words, it will feel counterinstinctual. What that requires of you, in concrete terms, could be the polar opposite of what's required of someone else. It could mean leaving a relationship or job – but it could mean recommitting far more vigorously to one. It could mean getting down to work, as in Jung's case; but it could just as easily entail finally letting yourself rest

But I'm learning that at this point in my Life Journey™, my real challenge involves not behaving like that. My "life task", narrowed down to the context of this specific project, involves bringing relaxed focus to the work for a few hours a day; cultivating the trust that I already know my material and have something valuable to share; and maintaining and enjoying the ordinary rhythms of family life in the meantime. And for me, this is hard! The sad truth is that I'd find it easier to take the more stressful, joy-postponing route. I don't mean I'd find it pleasant, but certainly more psychologically comfortable.

On some level, you know when you're hiding out in some domain of life, flinching from whatever challenge life has placed before you. The purpose of a good question like this is just to haul that knowledge up into consciousness, where you can actually do something about it.

"Of all the ways you could be spending your precious time and attention, it is very unlikely that you are currently spending it in the optimal way. The only path I know for figuring out a better way to spend your life is to sit and think. You simply have to carve out some time to think carefully about what you're doing, why you're doing it, and what you're really trying to achieve. Nobody stumbles into a well lived life. It has to be cultivated. Reflection and review are critical."

Q: How is my curiosity being directed? Is it rocket fuel or a roadblock?

The Last Time:

Entrepreneur and creative director Andrew Anabi on how to cherish life:

"When life changes, you will probably miss the way it was. You may miss those long morning drives or walks to the office, or those hectic family gatherings. You may miss them because those moments are finite — you will only travel those streets and see those people a certain amount of times.

Every time you do something that is one less time you do it. One day you will do something the final time and you will rarely know when that day comes.

For all you know, today might be the last time you walk in a particular neighborhood. Or it might be the last time you smile at a particular someone. To think otherwise, would be foolish. Nothing is guaranteed, except this moment. Your only real choice is to cherish every exchange like it is your last — because it very well might be.

Therefore, the best way to cherish life is to remind yourself of life's impermanence. It is to remember that every time you see someone that is one less time you see them. It is to remember that every time you go somewhere that is one less time you visit. By doing this, you naturally slow down. Almost like a reflex, you start to truly live."

Author Jeanette Winterson on seizing the day: "It's hard to remember that this day will never come again. That the time is now and the place is here and that there are no second chances at a single moment."

Build a life around creativity, generosity and helping others.

"7. Putting a smile on my face the moment I wake up. It tricks the brain into thinking: ooh, I feel quite good about today! It’s such a simple thing and it really works. Gaby Roslin, TV and radio presenter and author of Spread the Joy"

". Following the “one-minute rule”. If there’s a task I can do in less than one minute – hanging up my coat; answering an email – I do it without delay. It’s astonishing what you can accomplish, one minute at a time.” Gretchen Rubin, author, podcaster and speaker

"27. Believing that everyone is interesting and attractive – and that they find me to be so, too! I figured that if I was going to have a fantasy about what other people thought of me, I might as well make it a good one. Philippa Perry, psychotherapist and author

28. Doing a timed 10-minute tidy with my partner and kids every day. This has improved the cleanliness of the house significantly. Untidiness no longer drags down the mood. It also means we don’t need to do lengthy chores at the weekend. Polina, software engineer, London"

"34. Sleeping inclined. I put 15cm (6in) bed risers at the head of my bed and a host of healthy changes ensued. My circulation improved; my sleep apnea disappeared; pain in my shoulder, neck, back, hip and knee was alleviated. I wake in a lighter mood and with more energy. Liz Selleck, public health professional, Boston, US

35. Remembering to breathe. Eighteen months ago, I saw a breathworker and the impact on my mental health was transformative. If you do it the right way first thing in the morning, it makes the day feel possible, if only for a little while. John Crace, Guardian parliamentary sketch writer and author of Depraved New World"

"36. Putting an exercise mat by my bathroom. Every time I use the loo, I have to step over the mat, which makes me stop and do a few exercises: planks, sit-ups, even just a few stretches. It’s no more than 10 minutes a day, but the change in how I feel is incredible. Jennifer Veyre, business coach, Switzerland"

"40. Brushing my teeth standing on one foot. I alternate the foot each night. This was a small, zany habit I cultivated to help strengthen my ankles, but my knees, hips and balance have also improved. Anonymous, Michigan, US"

"42. Eating Greek yoghurt with fresh fruit for breakfast. It has had the most profound impact. My mood is way steadier, as I have no carb crash from cereal or oatmeal. I wish I had done this 20 years earlier. Matt Chapman, creative director, New Jersey, US

43. Writing in the morning. I used to think writing creatively was a night-time activity – despite waking with a head full of ideas. Now, I write first thing, before listening to the news, looking at screens or even talking to anyone. Nine Stibbe, author of Went to London, Took the Dog"

"50. Starting each day with a gratitude exercise. Whether it’s a simple smile from my son or a big award at work, acknowledging three things I’m thankful for each morning ignites curiosity, amplifies appreciation and fuels productivity. Paul C Brunson, matchmaker and life coach"

"61. Incorporating “mobility snacks” into my day – like taking deep squats while the kettle boils. The impact on my functional movement is monumental, without needing to fit in a full workout. Adam Richardson, mobility coach and author of The Mobility Method"

"62. Getting direct sunlight in the morning. Even if it’s only for five minutes, it makes a huge difference to my circadian rhythms and overall mood. This former night owl now wakes naturally at dawn and goes to sleep soon after the sun sets – it’s amazing! Sara Miller, retired, Arkansas, US"

"65. Consciously choosing my first and last thoughts each day. We have 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day, but 80% of them are repetitive and negative. Every morning, I choose an empowering thought; every night, I choose a grateful thought, which helps shift my mindset. Jay Shetty, life coach"

"78. Taking a five-minute break from work every 90 minutes. I’ve put it in my calendar and don’t let anything get in the way of it. These short breaks give me a chance to settle my mind and keep me from being overwhelmed at work. Benito, accountant, Kentucky, US"

"85. Focusing on joy, rather than willpower. I started exercising only when I found activities I adored (tennis, dancing); I started eating copious amounts of vegetables only when I found dishes I loved. And I started writing only when I took to working in sunny cafe windows. Susan Cain, author of Bittersweet and Quiet and host of the Quiet Life community"

"91. Setting my phone wallpaper to something that helps me keep perspective: a photo I took on a solo trip, feeling strong and full of possibilities, with the words “It’s all just living” on it. It reminds me that there’s no correct way to do life. Amy Fleming, writer and editor"

"98. Committing to a nightly 10-minute guided meditation. I find them on YouTube or Spotify and, having gradually increased the length, can now easily do 30 minutes. My sleep quality has improved, I feel calmer and I have learned some great breathing practices. Josephine Tauranga, senior business analyst, New Zealand"

What are you waiting for? Make a bold move. Go on. People want you to do it. Don't be haunted by the ghost of "Could have".

In my university days everyone had to attend a workshop on stress management.

The one golden nugget I took away from it is that stress is 100% a framing issue.

You only feel stressed when you think you can't handle it.

The hardest thing to teach a student—and the hardest thing to believe consistently—is that there is nothing ‘out there’ to go and get. There is no part, no career, no opportunity for which you should be searching and scrounging and coveting. All of the preparation is within, and you keep yourself mentally and physically fit; you remain generous with yourself and others; you stay deeply in study about your craft. Whatever is yours will then arrive.”​— Marian Seldes

Compliment, condolences, congratulate.

The most meaningful things in life come with some level of risk, and if you’re in survival mode, you won’t take them. The stakes will always seem too high, even if the downside to that risk is capped.

The key to shifting out of survival mode is to realize that you have enough. The word “enough” may evoke different feelings from different people, but I’m simply referring to the amount you require to have your basic necessities covered.

Survival mode is turned on when reality is clouded by the fog of fear. It turns a completely manageable situation into one that is overblown, and every small decision regarding money causes immense anxiety.

Once you realize that money is a resource you own – and not the other way around – you will see money for what it really is: a tool that amplifies the values you already espouse.

In the next phase of the spectrum, money becomes a mechanism, rather than the end result. It is here where its value truly shines, as it enables you to live a life that coincides with purpose.

Generic ambition will give you anxiety. Specific ambition will give you direction.

“I became a writer when I was thirty years old, and I started running when I was thirty-two or thirty-three. I decided to start running every day because I wanted to see what would happen. I think life is a kind of laboratory where you can try anything. And in the end I think it was good for me, because I became tough.” - Murakami

In Pangasinan, the Filipino dialect my parents speak, the phrase ‘akauley kilad tan’ roughly translates to all of this: do what you will, it’s up to you, find a way. Often shared by my mum with a fond eye roll, it serves as a reminder to get off my butt, take action, and face challenges head-on.

The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves. - Pema Chödrön

I have not read the…hit piece. And I won’t. (I just can’t make myself care.) “Great people discuss ideas. Moderate people discuss things. Weak people discuss other people.” Not saying I’m great yet. But I’ve given up being weak.

You cant hoard life:

There is no little pocket situated outside of life” to which you could take “life’s provisions and squirrel them away.” Spending your days trying to get experiences “under your belt”, in an effort to maximise your collection of experiences, or to feel more confident about the future supply of similar experiences, means placing yourself in a position from which you can never enjoy them fully, because there’s a different agenda at play.

Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life. - Seneca

A lot of the best marketing happens in a spreadsheet

Entrepreneur = Salesperson

Work makes you less smart, more savvy

Are you overwhelmed because you’re comparing?

If it matters, it’s difficult

“I quit drinking 🍺 and smoking 🚬 on the same day; 7 years, 1 month and 3 days ago.

Now, I go to sleep and wake up early naturally. 🛌

I go for long walks in the forest and mountains. 🌳

I train my a$$ off in the gym, religiously. 💪🏻

I INVEST (not spend) my free time in learning all I can about health, fitness, and business, and never get bored. 📖

I get sh1t done at a pace and intensity that most find intimidating. 😮

Most importantly, I’m happy and feel more alive as I get older, not less! 😃

How did this happen?

Simple.

I decided, in an instant, to change that aspect of my identity.

Now,

There’s no tolerance for hangovers and smoker’s cough.

No room for bad health and sloppiness.

And no room for excuses.

I’m FAR from perfect.

But I’ve learnt that IDENTITY matters.

And our identity is a choice we make.

It drives our behaviour more than we realise.

And is the single biggest determinant of how we feel.

Who are you?

Who do you want to be?

What small thing could you change that, in 7 years, would put you in a complete different world?

“What is my actual goal here? What am I trying to do? What is the dent that I'm trying to make in the universe? …it starts with what my unique take is on what's wrong…”

"The need for certainty is the greatest disease the mind faces. - Robert Greene

Action produces information. Just keep doing stuff. Trying to solve the issue by thinking about it only makes it worse. Don't stop. Trust the process. Eventually the right opportunity will appear right in front of you and the choice will be crystal clear.

Courage, I've heard, doesn't make you any less fearful of the challenges you face To be brave is to carry on regardless of the resistance your mind, body, and soul yearns for you to embrace.

People make time for things that are mission critical. Money follows expensive problems.

“Deleted all the self-help books off my Kindle. At a certain point too much optimization becomes harmful. Wondering "should I be doing this instead?" lessens the likelihood that you'll commit to one path and succeed. I love history and biographies, and I'd rather learn through someone's character than some "NY Times Best Seller" that could have been a blog post. Better yet, I'll just read my Bible more. There's not a self-help book that can't be summarized in a psalm or a proverb. Liberate yourself from self-hell and declare bankruptcy on those unread books.“

“It is so good to see you! 7 Habits is one of my favorite books. Thanks for the reminder. It’s been years, and I wonder what reading it with a non-achieving/non-grasping mindset would be like. 🙏🏽“

The story you tell yourself (e.g. I'm tired) is your solution to a problem you are having.

What if there is a better story?

It's an obstacle that helps me climb up - MF Doom on depression

“I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatsoever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me; it is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”​— George Bernard Shaw

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”​— George Bernard Shaw

What is easier for me than others?